Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Missing My Baby

Gavin went to visit his Nana and Papa for the week because I'm not able to pick him up and take care of him since my gallbladder surgery. I can't believe how emotional I am not having him around me. When I clicked on to this blog and saw the pictures of him I sobbed....the dogs were all over me thinking I was nuts. I didn't think it would be this bad. I'm even lactating because I can't stop thinking about him and I stopped breast feeding over 3 months ago.
I watched this show called 16 and pregnant and the water works started. It reminded me of when Gavin was born early and how hard all of that was not being able to take him home, all those days in the NICU, and how there would be good days and bad days. I felt so bad for that couple having to go through that and then of course the guy was a major loser and says something soooo hurtful to the mother of his child. He sent her a text message saying something like he couldn't wait to sign the rights away for that mistake. That made me sooooo angry and got me to thinking about Gavin and how much I miss him. I love that little boy sooooo much and miss him terribly but know he is in the best of hand. His Nana is having a blast with him and thankfully he has been a little angel except for one screaming fit. She said that he is sleeping really good. He will wake up for a bottle but then go back to sleep...thats music to my ears for when he comes home on Thursday. It seems like the time is going by soooo slowly.
I went to my surgeon for a check up and he said that the incisions are healing great. I told him I still have the pain and tightness around my ribs and he said that I will probably have it for another 2 weeks because of my dysautonomia and not healing as fast as normal people. He said even for people without dysautonomia in this time range after surgery they still have some pain because its like being shot in the chest....there is major trauma to that area and its still going to be swollen and bruised inside. Hopefully all this will start healing faster so I can hold my son sooner than later.
Friday Ben is taking me and Gavin down south to my mom and dad's house so I'll have some help with him while I'm still healing and so everyone can finally meet my little booser! I'm super excited for everyone to meet him and I know his little cousins can't wait to meet him either. He is for sure gonna get a ton of lovin from all the family of course after I attack him with a million kisses on Thursday. :-) I'll be taking loads of pictures while I'm down south so stay tuned! Ok now I'm going to try to keep my mind off my little boy so my eyes and boobs will stop leaking!

3 comments:

Aunt Emmy said...

Awwww you made it through! It wasnt just the fact that he was away that made you emotional, you will be emotional like that for a while. There will be certain things that will trigger you. Welcome to the pangs of motherhood! Was so glad we got to see you and him last night!!

Jessie said...

Yeah it was a lot of fun! Hope we get to see ya'll again before we go back home! I know Bay probably wants to play with him some more!

Favorite Aunt Emmy said...

yeah right...loads of pictures...whatever!!!