OMG!!!

I don't ever want to have to experience a circumcision again! First off Ben didn't come with me again today because his tummy was upset. :-( I was so stressed out about this procedure having to do it alone. I to the doctors office on time and no one was there. Had to put Gavin back in the car and wait for them to open the doors. I check myself in using their kiosk thing and wait and wait nervously. Then they call me to the front desk and ask if my insurance is going to pay for the procedure and if not I'm I prepared to pay $350 before they do it. I'm freaking out. Didn't think I would have to worry about anything else but his poor pee pee. I had called Ben and told him so he called the insurance and found out that it covered everything...thank goodness. So they took me back to a room and had to undress him and wrap him in a blanket. He looked so peaceful and I was thinking oooo no you don't know what your in for. I felt so bad. The doctor came in and told me how to care for it when I get home.....keep vaseline on it every time I change him and pull the skin down so it doesn't grow over his tip. He also said that they numb his pee pee before they clip it which was a relief to know he didn't feel it. I waited for what seemed like forever but was probably only 15 min. and no screams. I figured they hadn't done it yet and then here they come down the hall. They said he did great....didn't cry or anything. I had to wait 15min before I could leave so they could check it. Right when the nurse knocked on the door he started feeling it because he let out a scream. The nurse took off his diaper and omg the site of it! I wasn't expecting it to look quite like that. I don't know what I expected. I have seen many yucky medical procedures...heck I even dissected a cadaver and it never bothered me but seeing my baby's pee pee like that and hearing him screaming made me sick. I just wasn't expecting to feel that way. I knew they cut off the foreskin but this looked like they skinned it and you could see the inside of it. The vaseline gauze came off too soon so the nurse had to wrap it back up and he started screaming louder. I couldn't calm him he was hurting so much so the nurse gave me a bottle of tylenol and gave him some before we left. Everyone was looking as I was trying to check out and pay the copay and trying to keep is little passy in his mouth which was the only thing that would soothe him. Once in the car he was out.....sleeping so soundly from the tylenol.....thank goodness. Ben let me sleep when we got home because I had been up all night before with him. When I woke up I couldn't hear clearly and had a really loud ringing noise in my ear. Sounds like there is cotton in them and a loud constant ringing. Not sure what its from...could be from my dysautonomia....I was feeling all my symptoms and was super stressed out but never had this happen before. I have tried cleaning out my ears and drinking water or yawning to pop them and nothing is working. Going to call my doctor tomorrow and see what I should do. Well that was my day and all I can say is OMG what a day!